Posted by: mensab | January 8, 2008

Thoughts on Marriage (Why? and why not!)

      I am in 30s now. Ten years ago, a thought was unimaginable to cross my mind. Now, this unimaginable thought is able to penetrate my radar of thoughts. It becomes real. And it demands serious thinking. I will have to settle down and find a partner in life. After flying and roaming around, the idea of settling down becomes a reasonable option. In short, marriage is a looming and emerging reality thought for me.

      What is marriage for a man in his 30s? It brings clarity to what he wants in life. It is companionship in the tumultous journey of self-fulfillment and maturity. It is a rite of passage from a free-spirited man to a responsible husband. And more importantly, it is a decision to be with someone for the rest of his life.Yes, I am in 30s. By this time, I was told, that I should have known what I wanted to become and I should be on my way of becoming what I wanted. The distractions of being single do not help in clearing and simplifying what I wanted. Most of my friends are now married and few are planning to get married soon. In gatherings such as class reunions, family get-togethers, church and organization meetings, one common question I frequently encounter is, “Are you married?” It is a question that I could easily dismiss and answer, “No!” But now the thought of marriage is more real than the question asked and the answer given. 

       Being in 30s carries a bundle of considerations before making the decision. One of which is my friends. If I get married, I will spend less time with them. I remember the time when my mother invited me to go with her to go shopping. I declined to go with her. My mother noticed that I was spending less time with her. Well, I did not notice that. I thought it was part of growing up. So probably, marriage too is part of growing up since i will be spending less time with my friends. Another consideration is my dream. I wanted to write a book. I believe that I have saved enough materials in my mind to begin writing it. The materials have even started to wake me in the middle of the nights and come to life to disturb my consciousness. I have doubts if a woman out there can share that dream with me and understand my passion for sharing my ideas and experiences through writing.       

        The thought has so far brought me here and now. They say that I am not getting any younger anymore. I admit that the thought has made me thinking. I believe that the true measure of a man is to translate this thought into action and reality. Allow me to think about that.



  1. Well;interestingly it sounds similar to what is going to happen in my life too.
    I am just 30 and going to get married in coming days.
    And these thoughts of yours are quite helpful in this important stage of life.

  2. Marriage is not a simple love affair, it’s an ordeal, and the ordeal is the sacrifice of ego to a relationship in which two have become one. –
    Joseph Campbell

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